The Doctor is IN

[healbuff]

Username/Display Name: un: rkwan/ river k.
Server Channel: #general
Time: Afternoon

YO HOTEL CAELUM WHAT IS UUUUUUPPPppp 🤟👊👏

For those of you who haven't met me, I'm River Kwan, 26/male/fit as hell. Just sayin' 'sup to my fellow guests and dishing out the real important news 😎

I've been sitting on it, but the circumstances with the lava and ice floors, make it pretty clear that major injuries are very likely if the hotel goes whack. No easy vacations for us 😔😔

But, I'm about to BLOW YOUR MINDS 🤯🤯🤯 You got a sprained ankle? Headaches? Experiencing weird symptoms? Any major broken bones or wounds from a possible skeleton army raising itself from Hell into space to destroy us all? Okay, that last bit is just me making shit up but you never know.

LUCKILY, I'm a healer. As long as you don't lose your limbs or other body parts, I can use my powers to heal any major injuries you may incur during your stay here. I'm also a licensed doctor (General Practitioner to be exact) so if you would like a basic physical and wellness check, look out for THIS handsome mug:



LMK if you have any questions! You can message me @ rkwan or find me in Room 302! Try not to lose any bodyparts, don't do major drugs, and make good choices 😘

Comments

un: redmoon / dn: NICO🦇

[crimsin]

[healbuff]

I can't cure apathy to reading, sorry bro 😓

[crimsin]

I'm teasing. 😅

You might like to know that my friend Clara is also a healer. Maybe you can put your heads together and keep the rest of us fools alive.

un: nanami.k

[nonexempt]

You don't help with limb loss?

[ lame ]

[healbuff]

I have to specify bc I can't make you a new leg or hand outta whole cloth. I'd probably be cooler if I did 🤔

Like if you lost a foot, but your foot is still nearby, I can reattach it. If a foot eating alien eats your detached foot, well, you're shit out of luck buddy!

[nonexempt]

[ well, not everyone can be the doctor he knows. ah, he misses shoko. ]

You would be cooler.

[ nanami, don't be mean. ]

But that's reassuring. At least all hope is not lost.

un: latrodectus, dn: henry

[vecna]

[this gif hurts his artistic senses]

You're the most ridiculous doctor I've ever met.

[healbuff]

BRO I spent like, two hours trying to make that gif

I'm SO fucking good at graphic design

[vecna]

That's two hours of your life you'll never get back.

No one's going to take you seriously like this.

un: rosula

[shardshot]

Thank you for your offer, Dr. Kwan. I like your fun approach to the art of healing, and I HAVE to know how you made that promotional image!

[healbuff]

magic
aka the internet after trying to find the perfect GIF making website

un: jnuy

[feyfound]

hOW DID YIU MAKE THR SPANRLY PJOTO W BUTTERFLIES I WANT TO DO IT TOOOO

[healbuff]

MAGIC
kidding i just found a place to make it and taught myself how to arrange shit.

un: evan kelmp

[verkelmpt]

Wow, 26 is pretty young to be a general practitioner.

[healbuff]

You'd be right! But to be fair, I had to REALLY put my noggin to work to be on the fast track.

[Truth be told, River Kwan is in fact, Very Smart, and if he was able to take a more normal track of medicine (aka less involvement from the Collective), he'd still be able to climb the mountain with some relative ease.]

But GP is GP and I think the doctors in more specialized fields like optometry and pediatrics are really impressive. I'm just someone who has a good handle on human anatomy, and medical knowledge, and just happens to have psychic healing.

un: weavewizard | dn: Gale of Waterdeep

[netherese]

[There is so, so very much to unpack here.]

I have to say, Dr. Kwan, I've never met a physician quite like you before. You do leave quite an impression!

[healbuff]

Yo, what up Waterdeep!
I do aim to please and leave others in shock and awe
That said it's mostly for fun, but I'm a serious doctor when it comes down to it

[citation needed]

un: velluminous, dn: Ms. Vaux

[velluminous]

[ room 302? ]

Cleric, are yyou? Good. I could use you.

[ girl what kind of introduction is that ]

[healbuff]

Uh, not a cleric!
And no using, at least not until you get me dinner first 🤣

un: housependeryn

[historicallyloaded]

Salutations, fellow physicker. I must profess to be an amateur myself and the only skeletons I've seen raised have been out of flesh and body. Messy process, that. I'd love to learn about your process and techniques so I could perform better.

...More importantly, what is your definition of major drugs?

[healbuff]

Physicker? PhySICKOS 🤟🤟🤟

[Anyway]

Nice to meet ya! I'm more of an esper so IDK if what you just called me really applies but I'll take it. My healing uses my own energy to fix people up.

un: virge // dn: odette

[cardsharked]

Dumbass. [Well, yes, Odette, but do you want to elaborate?]

You've got no idea what you just unleashed, do you?

[There are so many people staying here who've never been exposed to the power of gif editing nightmares like Blingee, and now that box has been opened. The Victorian child has been given the cool ranch Dorito.]

[healbuff]

I've unleashed INFORMATION that's what!
knowledge is power ✊

un: Bucciarati

[unfastens]

If someone comes to you with a lost limb I can help. Send me an email.

[ throwing that out there. apparently. ]

[healbuff]

Bucci Bro, no offense but that sounds kinda ominous... But I guess the extra help is appreciated?