The Doctor is IN

[healbuff]

Username/Display Name: un: rkwan/ river k.
Server Channel: #general
Time: Afternoon

YO HOTEL CAELUM WHAT IS UUUUUUPPPppp 🤟👊👏

For those of you who haven't met me, I'm River Kwan, 26/male/fit as hell. Just sayin' 'sup to my fellow guests and dishing out the real important news 😎

I've been sitting on it, but the circumstances with the lava and ice floors, make it pretty clear that major injuries are very likely if the hotel goes whack. No easy vacations for us 😔😔

But, I'm about to BLOW YOUR MINDS 🤯🤯🤯 You got a sprained ankle? Headaches? Experiencing weird symptoms? Any major broken bones or wounds from a possible skeleton army raising itself from Hell into space to destroy us all? Okay, that last bit is just me making shit up but you never know.

LUCKILY, I'm a healer. As long as you don't lose your limbs or other body parts, I can use my powers to heal any major injuries you may incur during your stay here. I'm also a licensed doctor (General Practitioner to be exact) so if you would like a basic physical and wellness check, look out for THIS handsome mug:



LMK if you have any questions! You can message me @ rkwan or find me in Room 302! Try not to lose any bodyparts, don't do major drugs, and make good choices 😘

Comments

[healbuff]

oh, fr again??? well it's fine, shin ramyun's a type of Korean instant noodles

link here

pretty spicy, noodles are slightly thicker and higher quality
really customizable
you gotta try it and you will have your eyes OPEN

[verkelmpt]

Oh wow that looks really good... I don't think I've ever seen that.

I'm from Millersburg, Iowa, though, so there's not a lot of variety when it comes to food. Unless you like different kinds of burgers.

[healbuff]

Gotcha! I'm from California so we're kinda flush with all sorts of stuff that I've probably taken for granted. Including burgers

that said, as a doctor, I would advise you not to just live on ramen and burgers. just putting that out there

[verkelmpt]

No need to worry, I'm keeping track of what I'm eating.

[ Mostly out of habit. Because he needs to know how much food to eat so he doesn't starve. ]

But yeah I'm also open to trying new stuff... My friend Dream liked to tease me about ordering really basic stuff from the school kitchen like burgers and sandwiches. And in my defense, those are just the things I'm used to.

[healbuff]

Well, we're in a hotel full of awe and wonders so I bet they have everything and more. If you ever wanna do a food tour, hit me up, bro. There's still a ton of stuff I haven't tried yet and we could explore together!

[verkelmpt]

Oh, that could be fun, yeah. I appreciate the offer.

I'm Evan Kelmp, by the way.

[ In case that wasn't obvious from his screen name. ]

[healbuff]

A pleasure to meet you, Evan my man 🤜
HMU if you need a checkup or a medical consultation if you're worried about yourself, kay?

[verkelmpt]

Yeah, absolutely. And again, I appreciate you being willing to offer your services. If you ever decide on doing that first-aid thing, I'd be excited to sign up.

[ oh man. Emojis. Don't panic, Evan. You can pick an appropriate one.

Oh! A matching hand! ]

🤛

[ nailed it ]