The Doctor is IN

[healbuff]

Username/Display Name: un: rkwan/ river k.
Server Channel: #general
Time: Afternoon

YO HOTEL CAELUM WHAT IS UUUUUUPPPppp 🤟👊👏

For those of you who haven't met me, I'm River Kwan, 26/male/fit as hell. Just sayin' 'sup to my fellow guests and dishing out the real important news 😎

I've been sitting on it, but the circumstances with the lava and ice floors, make it pretty clear that major injuries are very likely if the hotel goes whack. No easy vacations for us 😔😔

But, I'm about to BLOW YOUR MINDS 🤯🤯🤯 You got a sprained ankle? Headaches? Experiencing weird symptoms? Any major broken bones or wounds from a possible skeleton army raising itself from Hell into space to destroy us all? Okay, that last bit is just me making shit up but you never know.

LUCKILY, I'm a healer. As long as you don't lose your limbs or other body parts, I can use my powers to heal any major injuries you may incur during your stay here. I'm also a licensed doctor (General Practitioner to be exact) so if you would like a basic physical and wellness check, look out for THIS handsome mug:



LMK if you have any questions! You can message me @ rkwan or find me in Room 302! Try not to lose any bodyparts, don't do major drugs, and make good choices 😘

Comments

un: redmoon / dn: NICO🦇

[crimsin]

un: nanami.k

[nonexempt]

You don't help with limb loss?

[ lame ]

un: latrodectus, dn: henry

[vecna]

[this gif hurts his artistic senses]

You're the most ridiculous doctor I've ever met.

[healbuff]

I have to specify bc I can't make you a new leg or hand outta whole cloth. I'd probably be cooler if I did 🤔

Like if you lost a foot, but your foot is still nearby, I can reattach it. If a foot eating alien eats your detached foot, well, you're shit out of luck buddy!

[healbuff]

BRO I spent like, two hours trying to make that gif

I'm SO fucking good at graphic design

[healbuff]

I can't cure apathy to reading, sorry bro 😓

[vecna]

That's two hours of your life you'll never get back.

No one's going to take you seriously like this.

[nonexempt]

[ well, not everyone can be the doctor he knows. ah, he misses shoko. ]

You would be cooler.

[ nanami, don't be mean. ]

But that's reassuring. At least all hope is not lost.

un: rosula

[shardshot]

Thank you for your offer, Dr. Kwan. I like your fun approach to the art of healing, and I HAVE to know how you made that promotional image!

[crimsin]

I'm teasing. 😅

You might like to know that my friend Clara is also a healer. Maybe you can put your heads together and keep the rest of us fools alive.

[healbuff]

Vacation hours don't count

[YES THEY DO??]

Aw, you're worried about me being taken seriously? I'm touched 🥺

Usually, I have the receptionist take care of dispensing information about me, but she's not here and I have to get the word out. At least it's eyecatching!

[healbuff]

I will settle for being a cool General Practitioner instead 😎

But in all seriousness, please come see me if you would like a physical checkup and consultation. It isn't just for emergencies.

[vecna]

[Henry takes a moment to decide if he actually wants to engage in this conversation, instead of flinging a few passing barbs around. Ultimately, against his better judgment, he does.]

Oh, are you not alive during your vacation hours?

I'm not worried. I just think this is a new level of obliviousness. This isn't a flattering level of eye-catching. It's like something a teenage girl would make.

[nonexempt]

With doctor-patient confidentiality included?

[healbuff]

Oh, that so? PHEW two heads are better than one, though not to toot my own horn, my brain is HUGE

un: jnuy

[feyfound]

hOW DID YIU MAKE THR SPANRLY PJOTO W BUTTERFLIES I WANT TO DO IT TOOOO

[healbuff]

Yeah, absolutely. I know we're not in a typical arrangement with a working clinic but the rules I'm under as a doctor at home will still apply here.

[nonexempt]

Alright, I'll come have a check-up with you. When are you available?

[healbuff]

magic
aka the internet after trying to find the perfect GIF making website

[healbuff]

MAGIC
kidding i just found a place to make it and taught myself how to arrange shit.

[healbuff]

[River is just glad Henry's absolutely loves tolerates chatting with him!]

HEY
Don't rag on teenage girls, they are the driving force of our economies and will make you feel very bad about your sense of fashion!

I just wanted to have fun. The goal is to let a lot of people know I'm available and that I can perform my doctorly duties.

[healbuff]

Well, I workout early in the mornings so after that, anywhere between 10 AM - 2 PM should be reasonable enough. That sound okay?

[nonexempt]

It does. 11am tomorrow, perhaps?

[vecna]

[The reality is that if Henry is being a little sarcastically mean with someone in a casual way, that is actual growth.....]

I hate to be the one to tell you this, River, but you're not a teenage girl. You can afford to send out a digital [or whatever] business card if you have to advertise yourself.

This hurts my eyes.

[Don't you make an old joke, River, DON'T DO IT]

un: lierre / dn: clara?

[indigrow]

No. I'm on vacation. 🥰