caelumserver | The Doctor is IN

Username/Display Name: un: rkwan/ river k.
Server Channel: #general
Time: Afternoon

YO HOTEL CAELUM WHAT IS UUUUUUPPPppp 🤟👊👏

For those of you who haven't met me, I'm River Kwan, 26/male/fit as hell. Just sayin' 'sup to my fellow guests and dishing out the real important news 😎

I've been sitting on it, but the circumstances with the lava and ice floors, make it pretty clear that major injuries are very likely if the hotel goes whack. No easy vacations for us 😔😔

But, I'm about to BLOW YOUR MINDS 🤯🤯🤯 You got a sprained ankle? Headaches? Experiencing weird symptoms? Any major broken bones or wounds from a possible skeleton army raising itself from Hell into space to destroy us all? Okay, that last bit is just me making shit up but you never know.

LUCKILY, I'm a healer. As long as you don't lose your limbs or other body parts, I can use my powers to heal any major injuries you may incur during your stay here. I'm also a licensed doctor (General Practitioner to be exact) so if you would like a basic physical and wellness check, look out for THIS handsome mug:

LMK if you have any questions! You can message me @ rkwan or find me in Room 302! Try not to lose any bodyparts, don't do major drugs, and make good choices 😘

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's two hours of your life you'll never get back.

No one's going to take you seriously like this.

Vacation hours don't count

[YES THEY DO??]

Aw, you're worried about me being taken seriously? I'm touched 🥺

Usually, I have the receptionist take care of dispensing information about me, but she's not here and I have to get the word out. At least it's eyecatching!

[Henry takes a moment to decide if he actually wants to engage in this conversation, instead of flinging a few passing barbs around. Ultimately, against his better judgment, he does.]

Oh, are you not alive during your vacation hours?

I'm not worried. I just think this is a new level of obliviousness. This isn't a flattering level of eye-catching. It's like something a teenage girl would make.

[River is just glad Henry's ~~absolutely loves~~ tolerates chatting with him!]

HEY
Don't rag on teenage girls, they are the driving force of our economies and will make you feel very bad about your sense of fashion!

I just wanted to have fun. The goal is to let a lot of people know I'm available and that I can perform my doctorly duties.

Edited 2024-01-18 20:55 (UTC)

[The reality is that if Henry is being a little sarcastically mean with someone in a casual way, that is actual growth.....]

I hate to be the one to tell you this, River, but you're not a teenage girl. You can afford to send out a digital [or whatever] business card if you have to advertise yourself.

This hurts my eyes.

[Don't you make an old joke, River, DON'T DO IT]

Well, I GUESS I'll make a formal digital business card 😩🙃 later tho

Do you want your eyes checked, I'm not an optometrist, but it's something to think about

[hey didn't call him old at least]

[Henry would offer to help but hE'S NOT GONNA, River will have to unlock art lore some other way.]

You're very funny.

[Actually-]

Do your abilities only work on strictly human anatomy? Given the array of guests we have here.

Thanks, I know 😇

I mostly treat human patients, but it's not limited. S'long as it has a pulse and it's fleshy, my healing works just fine from what I've experienced.

[He does recall River healing his bruise, after all. But he had wondered if it applied to more extreme cases.]

Even for something more grievous?

Like, how grievous are we talking here? I need some more details to answer properly.

Oh, I didn't have anything particular in mind. But let's say... bleeding out profusely. Impaled, maybe.

[Morbid curiosities over here.]

Or have you never found yourself in that position before with someone inhuman specifically?

Ah, yeah. For those cases, they're rushed in as emergencies. As long as they get to me in time or vice versa, it's doable.

There are a lot of inhuman things in my world that I don't encounter in our area too much. The most "inhuman" patients I've worked with have been vampires, but they usually keep to themselves and know how to treat their own.

I see. Good to know.

[But! He doesn't expound further.]

But there is a limit to your healing, I assume.

Like mentioned above, time is always a factor. No point in healing anyone if they're already deceased, loathe as I am to say it.

[Henry isn't wrong about the limits of his healing... He hit that limit long ago but that was a special case that got him in trouble.]

Well, I can soothe headaches, and chronic pain as a minor sort of thing. Generally, the real limit is just me expending all my energy and not having enough juice to work with. Other than that though, nothing like a good night's rest, a healthy diet, and a workout to help me balance things out.

Diseases and viral infections are usually the upper limit that most healers can't cross, short of lessening the effects.

So it does take a toll on you. Eventually, anyway.

[His own powers are like that, too, but Henry has to exert himself quite a bit, these days, to earn a nosebleed.]

"Most" healers?

As they say, there's a toll to pay 🤷‍♂️

Yeah. Turns out, trying to cure a disease is kinda hard actually??

I can only take your word for it. But are there healers that can completely heal diseases?

They're pretty rare, yeah.
Even I don't know of many out there. The Collective keeps tabs on the ones who can since they're most likely to be targeted. Valuable assets and all that.

Targeted?

You mean kidnapped? Stolen away?

[He can’t imagine what else could happen to someone with rare, special abilities. Just used for someone else’s sake, probably. Been there, done that!]

Yes and yes.

Who doesn't want someone who can dispense you with guaranteed health and lengthen your lifespan?

Anyone with ambition, I'm sure.

Ambition is overrated, eat healthy, exercise consistently, and don't do drugs

I'm not sure I would go that far.

Ambition, to some degree, is what got you to where you are today, isn't it?

Fair enough
But ANYWAY let's talk about fun stuff

It's January now, almost February
And you know what that means!!

["Fun" stuff. Oh boy.]

What

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