》akechi goro (crow) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
laevateinns) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caelumserver2023-12-03 06:07 pm
laevateinns) wrote in caelumserver2023-12-03 06:07 pm
Entry tags:
[open] just your usual info gathering about weird cosmic hotels
Username/Display Name: a/akechi
Server Channel: #general
Time: 12:17am
[ akechi isn't particularly fond of reaching out to people in the hotel, but... he's realized it may actually be his best source of information, so he's biting the bullet and posting to the network. he Actually Tries to be polite about it all, so his message is chill. ]
Hello, all.
Since I've arrived here I've been exploring the place, but since it really is so huge... I was hoping I could gather some information from the rest of you.
I'd appreciate hearing about the various floors or rooms you've come across and what was in them. The strangest things you've seen, even.
There's only so much I can discover on my own, unfortunately, and I know that people have had... experiences, to say the least.
Server Channel: #general
Time: 12:17am
[ akechi isn't particularly fond of reaching out to people in the hotel, but... he's realized it may actually be his best source of information, so he's biting the bullet and posting to the network. he Actually Tries to be polite about it all, so his message is chill. ]
Hello, all.
Since I've arrived here I've been exploring the place, but since it really is so huge... I was hoping I could gather some information from the rest of you.
I'd appreciate hearing about the various floors or rooms you've come across and what was in them. The strangest things you've seen, even.
There's only so much I can discover on my own, unfortunately, and I know that people have had... experiences, to say the least.
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Oi! You're Akechi-kun, I take it? Hope you're ready to have your mind blown.
[ Whatever happens, Gojo will make sure his first visit to IKEA is definitely an...experience. ]
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he doesn't
...okay he does, a little, but he tries so hard to play it off. ]
I'll try to contain myself, yes. [ he says flatly, eyes lingering on the dude's sunglasses.
inside?? really?? ]
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Hmmm...you wanna take the long, boring way, or the quick, fun way? Heh...
[ They can take the elevator like a bunch of chumps, or...they can leave the way he arrived! His teleportation accepts passengers. ]
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akechi squints at him openly and suspiciously.
he already has an idea of what the quick, fun way might involve... and it kind of sounds like a challenge. ]
The quick way, of course. [ he announces decisively. ]
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[ With no other preamble than that, a wicked grin flashes on his face, and he reaches over to set a hand on Akechi's shoulder. As soon as they do so...pop! They disappear from in front of the first floor elevators, and reappear in the lobby of an IKEA.
It may be a bit disorienting to teleport from one place to another, but it's a fairly smooth ride, all things considered. Letting his hand drop away from Akechi's shoulder, Gojo takes a step back to clap his hands over his head. ]
Here we are! IKEA: Hotel Caelum! Way better than taking the elevator, huh?
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he's thinking about this when the teleportation happens, which means he's completely unprepared for it, and. smoother than an elevator as it is, he's left fucking reeling at the end of it, arms almost pinwheeling and stomach churning as he tries to adjust to being somewhere completely different.
it's... similar, but not, to the transfer to the metaverse, but-- holy shit. what even. ]
...Ugh. [ is all he can say at first. ]
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Still, he's not about to wait around for Akechi to get his bearings forever, so shortly thereafter: ]
Soooo, where to first? Wanna shop? Pretend you live in a tiny apartment? Try the world-famous meatballs? Oooor maybe...you'd like to see the daycare?
[ Yes. It's here, too. ]
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he shakes his head, tries to right himself. ]
I believe we came here for the meatballs, didn't we?
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[ The only thing worse than barfing after teleportation would be barfing after eating IKEA meatballs after teleportation. But if Akechi insists, then it's his funeral! ]
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akechi huffs!! draws himself up, shoving down any hint of discomfort DEEP DEEP INSIDE. he has practice, it's fine. ]
I'll be fine. It's just meatballs. And that's why we're here, so... why delay?
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Okey-dokey, if you say soooo!
[ He turns towards the store's cafeteria and waves for Akechi to follow him. It's quite loud...lots of plates and silverware clacking together and chairs scooting in and out. It's busy! Where did all these people even come from... ]
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akechi's no stranger to crowds, so it doesn't throw him off too much. he strides forward confidently... before realizing he doesn't actually know where the meatballs are specifically.
why were there so many food options? ]
Why are there so many food options? [ at a furniture store???? listen, akechi's followed some weird trends, especially where food is concerned, but he just can't say he thought this would be a solid business practice. ]
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[ Because it's a literal fucking maze meant to trap you until you're starving and delirious, leaving with meatballs and Billy Bookcase. Expecting Akechi to follow, Gojo heads to the cafeteria-style line, grabbing a tray.
To the staff working on the other side of the partition: ]
A double order of meatballs, please! Oh — and a slice of that chocolate cake, too. It's to die for... [ To Akechi: ] So are the pancakes, but you at least gotta get the meatballs!
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Oh, no thank you. The meatballs will be just fine. [ he says, CHEERFULLY, ]
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Okey-dokey! Hey — put it on my tab, will you?
[ To the staff, for both of their orders. This is his treat! And then once they're handed their places, he turns to find a table for them to sit at. ]
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well. mostly not the teleportation.
he turns to look at gojo, amused and curious. and maybe the correct response is "thank you," but-- ]
You seriously have a tab at the IKEA cafeteria in this hotel? [ well maybe it's a more general hotel tab-- BUT STILL. he follows him to the table, setting his tray down. ]
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The chocolate cake is just that good. This is the first time I've gotten the meatballs since I checked in, actually...hope they're as good as I remember!
[ That's right, he can't even vouch for the meatballs of this specific IKEA, but they can't be that different, right? All IKEAs are pretty standard, even when they're in, like, a different part of the multiverse. ]
Now it's time for the moment of truth...
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and then... moment of truth.
akechi huffs, then raises a meatball to his mouth.
bites it.
chews.
and... honestly? it's pretty good. way better than what he thought it would be. the meat is good and the spices work well with it, and the sauce is especially nice, keeping it from being too dry.
he can just picture what he'd write about them on his food blog. ]
The sauce is... decent. [ is all he'll allow for now, instead. ]
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Akechi's response, however, seems to be good enough for his companion, and he flashes a self-assured grin. Yeah, he knew it. You can't go wrong with the Swedish Meatballs. ]
You love it. I can totally see it in your face!
[ He can't, but he can at least tell Akechi is enjoy it enough, which means he's gonna run away with it. ]
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the number of emoticons he used...
as for gojo's reaction... why does it defensively make him feel like he's being made fun of. ]
I never said I loved it. [ he says, just to be a dick, before conceding. ] But it really is better than I expected.
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Then let me have the pleasure of saying: I told you so.
[ Yeah, even if Akechi enjoys his meatballs, he's probably going to regret coming here with Gojo anyway. ]
Sooo, that means you'll visit the rest of the store with me too, riiiiight?
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akechi's face hardens already at being told that gojo told him so; he hates being wrong!! and being shown up!!
he frowns. ]
As you say they're extremely popular. So, me enjoying them is just statistically likely.
[ sorry gojo he really is a brat
but as for the rest... ]
The entire rest of the store? It's rather large. [ a pause. ] Is there something specific you're looking for for your room?
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...Yes. [ There wasn't, but he can come up with something real quick on the spot — ] I need a new chair.
[ Extremely vague and nonspecific. Guess they'll just have to check out all of the chairs around! ]
...And a houseplant.
[ Okay, that's actually real. ]
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but it's in akechi's favor anyway, insofar as... getting food is concerned, he supposes.
but not much else, based on gojo's list of super important things.
he should probably just leave now. ]
...Fine. [ he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. ] Let's... look for the plant first. I'm not carrying a chair around any longer than I need to.
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What makes you think I'll make you carry it? Or are you just volunteering because you're that excited to shop with yours truly?
[ He can carry it all easily on his own, but it's still kind of funny to imagine Akechi carrying around his stuff like a pack mule. Honestly, he might have done it just to be funny, but now he can't without it seeming like his bit is unoriginal!
...Damn, maybe that was Akechi's game all along. Sharp kid. ]
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