[open] just your usual info gathering about weird cosmic hotels

[laevateinns]

Username/Display Name: a/akechi
Server Channel: #general
Time: 12:17am

[ akechi isn't particularly fond of reaching out to people in the hotel, but... he's realized it may actually be his best source of information, so he's biting the bullet and posting to the network. he Actually Tries to be polite about it all, so his message is chill. ]

Hello, all.

Since I've arrived here I've been exploring the place, but since it really is so huge... I was hoping I could gather some information from the rest of you.

I'd appreciate hearing about the various floors or rooms you've come across and what was in them. The strangest things you've seen, even.

There's only so much I can discover on my own, unfortunately, and I know that people have had... experiences, to say the least.

Comments

[unliminal]

Ehhhh, technically, but are you sure your tummy-tum can handle that right now? You're looking a little unwell, buddy.

[ The only thing worse than barfing after teleportation would be barfing after eating IKEA meatballs after teleportation. But if Akechi insists, then it's his funeral! ]

[laevateinns]

[ TUMMY-TUM??? TUMMY-TUM??? IS HE A CHILD

akechi huffs!! draws himself up, shoving down any hint of discomfort DEEP DEEP INSIDE. he has practice, it's fine. ]

I'll be fine. It's just meatballs. And that's why we're here, so... why delay?

[unliminal]

[ "It's just meatballs", famous last words. But if he's sure, then Gojo isn't going to be the responsible adult here! ]

Okey-dokey, if you say soooo!

[ He turns towards the store's cafeteria and waves for Akechi to follow him. It's quite loud...lots of plates and silverware clacking together and chairs scooting in and out. It's busy! Where did all these people even come from... ]

[laevateinns]

[ why is is so busy in here? what the hell.

akechi's no stranger to crowds, so it doesn't throw him off too much. he strides forward confidently... before realizing he doesn't actually know where the meatballs are specifically.

why were there so many food options? ]

Why are there so many food options? [ at a furniture store???? listen, akechi's followed some weird trends, especially where food is concerned, but he just can't say he thought this would be a solid business practice. ]

[unliminal]

If you were willing to go look at the rest of the store, you might realize why...

[ Because it's a literal fucking maze meant to trap you until you're starving and delirious, leaving with meatballs and Billy Bookcase. Expecting Akechi to follow, Gojo heads to the cafeteria-style line, grabbing a tray.

To the staff working on the other side of the partition: ]

A double order of meatballs, please! Oh — and a slice of that chocolate cake, too. It's to die for... [ To Akechi: ] So are the pancakes, but you at least gotta get the meatballs!

[laevateinns]

[ akechi's HANDS TIGHTEN AROUND HIS TRAY before he SMILES BRIGHTLY. ]

Oh, no thank you. The meatballs will be just fine. [ he says, CHEERFULLY, ]

[unliminal]

[ ...That's a weird reaction, okay. Maybe his tummy-tum is acting up again and he's trying to save face... ]

Okey-dokey! Hey — put it on my tab, will you?

[ To the staff, for both of their orders. This is his treat! And then once they're handed their places, he turns to find a table for them to sit at. ]

[laevateinns]

[ IT SURE IS A WEIRD REACTION and if his tummy-tum hurts from it it's only from embarrassment and frustration, not the teleportation.

well. mostly not the teleportation.

he turns to look at gojo, amused and curious. and maybe the correct response is "thank you," but-- ]

You seriously have a tab at the IKEA cafeteria in this hotel? [ well maybe it's a more general hotel tab-- BUT STILL. he follows him to the table, setting his tray down. ]

[unliminal]

[ As he sits, Gojo shoots Akechi a look that very much says "yeah, and?" ]

The chocolate cake is just that good. This is the first time I've gotten the meatballs since I checked in, actually...hope they're as good as I remember!

[ That's right, he can't even vouch for the meatballs of this specific IKEA, but they can't be that different, right? All IKEAs are pretty standard, even when they're in, like, a different part of the multiverse. ]

Now it's time for the moment of truth...

[laevateinns]

I just imagine there are better places for chocolate cake in a hotel like this. [ he's not sure. why he bothers answering that, but it feels important to make A Point.

and then... moment of truth.

akechi huffs, then raises a meatball to his mouth.

bites it.

chews.

and... honestly? it's pretty good. way better than what he thought it would be. the meat is good and the spices work well with it, and the sauce is especially nice, keeping it from being too dry.

he can just picture what he'd write about them on his food blog. ]

The sauce is... decent. [ is all he'll allow for now, instead. ]

[unliminal]

[ Just think of what a service he could do for the other hotel guests is he did keep a Caelum Food Blog...he's just lucky that Gojo doesn't know about that, or he would be bugging him relentlessly to start it up again.

Akechi's response, however, seems to be good enough for his companion, and he flashes a self-assured grin. Yeah, he knew it. You can't go wrong with the Swedish Meatballs. ]

You love it. I can totally see it in your face!

[ He can't, but he can at least tell Akechi is enjoy it enough, which means he's gonna run away with it. ]

[laevateinns]

[ akechi is absolutely lucky because even if he started up a food blog ever again he would not be able to bring himself to type it in the cutesy way he used to before, but would still be reminded incessantly of that while writing it.

the number of emoticons he used...

as for gojo's reaction... why does it defensively make him feel like he's being made fun of. ]

I never said I loved it. [ he says, just to be a dick, before conceding. ] But it really is better than I expected.

[unliminal]

[ He probably feels that way because everything that comes out of Gojo's mouth kind of sounds like teasing or a threat...often both. ]

Then let me have the pleasure of saying: I told you so.

[ Yeah, even if Akechi enjoys his meatballs, he's probably going to regret coming here with Gojo anyway. ]

Sooo, that means you'll visit the rest of the store with me too, riiiiight?

[laevateinns]

[ the combination of akechi's defensiveness and gojo's teasing and threats... truly chaotic.

akechi's face hardens already at being told that gojo told him so; he hates being wrong!! and being shown up!!

he frowns. ]

As you say they're extremely popular. So, me enjoying them is just statistically likely.

[ sorry gojo he really is a brat

but as for the rest... ]

The entire rest of the store? It's rather large. [ a pause. ] Is there something specific you're looking for for your room?

[unliminal]

[ Goddamn, he is a brat. Is it bad that he finds that kind of endearing? He sort of reminds him of Megumi, if Megumi said half of the things he was thinking... ]

...Yes. [ There wasn't, but he can come up with something real quick on the spot — ] I need a new chair.

[ Extremely vague and nonspecific. Guess they'll just have to check out all of the chairs around! ]

...And a houseplant.

[ Okay, that's actually real. ]

[laevateinns]

[ "endearing" is certainly not what most people think about him if they know him, so gojo may in fact be weird for that.

but it's in akechi's favor anyway, insofar as... getting food is concerned, he supposes.

but not much else, based on gojo's list of super important things.

he should probably just leave now. ]

...Fine. [ he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. ] Let's... look for the plant first. I'm not carrying a chair around any longer than I need to.

[unliminal]

[ As he jumps out of his seat, abruptly pushing back his chair with a screech: ]

What makes you think I'll make you carry it? Or are you just volunteering because you're that excited to shop with yours truly?

[ He can carry it all easily on his own, but it's still kind of funny to imagine Akechi carrying around his stuff like a pack mule. Honestly, he might have done it just to be funny, but now he can't without it seeming like his bit is unoriginal!

...Damn, maybe that was Akechi's game all along. Sharp kid. ]

[laevateinns]

[ oh, god. this guy is so intense. akechi blinks at the chair movement, at the outburst. ]

Oh? You wouldn’t? [ he tries, amused. ] And here I thought your secret ploy was to get me here to carry your stuff for you.

[ as for being excited…]

Absolutely beside myself. [ flat. still a brat, even as he stands up himself. ]

[unliminal]

Hmmm, I'd only make you do that if I thought it would be funny.

[ And he'll readily admit as much plainly, since he doubts he'll be able to follow through on it now. It's fine, though — carrying his own shit just gives him an opportunity to show off, which he's also happy to do. ]

If you sayyyy so! C'mon, then. The meatballs were secretly to keep you energized through our long hike through the badlands of IKEA.

[ They have a long ways to go, after all... ]

[laevateinns]

[ ...akechi literally cannot tell if that honesty makes him feel better or not.

oh well! ]

And if they make me sick through our long journey through IKEA instead? [ he can't help but ask wryly. ]

[unliminal]

I'll teleport you into the nearest bathroom.

[ Said with just the brightest, most encouraging smile Gojo can muster. He's a problem solver! ]

[laevateinns]

My hero.

[ akechi replies, voice flatter than the pancakes gojo offered him. ]