so about the espresso

[cardsharked]

Username/Display Name: un: vierge / dn: odette
Server Channel: #general
Time: Late October, right after the espresso heist

Figure some of you might be wondering what the fuck happened to the espresso machine.

Well, I like at least one of you, so I’m willing to share the scoop.

Astarion the Victorian orphan trapped in a grown man’s body and some blond guy I haven’t seen around before broke the damn thing trying to lift it. Literally and figuratively. Dropped it a few feet from the door in the middle of grand theft bean.

I gathered anyone missing their fix would appreciate the heads up. You see Astarion or that tentacle-wielding lug around, be sure to thank em for making mornings more interesting. I’d like to personally extend my thanks to blondie, too, so if you know who around here can do that kind of kraken shit, don't be shy.

And if you think they’re just gonna replace the machine, you’re dead wrong. Bennet put up a cute little “pardon our mess” card, so we’re SOL. What's a girl to do?

Comments

[survivaltricks]

how dare you

[astarion]

[help]

im sorry for your loss, truly
but how do you know she's tellng the truth?

i dont evennknow what an espresso machine IS
why would i take one

[survivaltricks]

the same reason i'd take one, probably.

coffee at your fingertips.

[astarion]

believe me
coffee is not my drink of choice

[HE CAN'T EVEN USE THE "I'M A VAMPIRE AND EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE ASH IN MY MOUTH" ARGUMENT PUBLICALLY, HELP]

you should instaed be asking why odette is so eagerr to stir tourble where there is none!

[survivaltricks]

[HE DUG HIS OWN GRAVE (heh)]

but there IS

i just went downstairs to check the espresso machine and it IS gone

she's telling the truth about THAT much, at least

[astarion]

in thtat case then
i think someone is trying to FRAME me

[survivaltricks]

thtat

[there it is]

[astarion]

[oh my gods]

THAT

[That's it, that's the reply.]

[survivaltricks]

[lmao]

anyway.

back on topic.

i don't think she's lying because you're being way too defensive.

[astarion]

i was just accused of a crime i didn''t commit!
you wouldn't be?

[survivaltricks]

[. . . . . . . . . well now it feels a little serious. at least, for him]

[mister joker is typing pops up and vanishes several times before another reply comes through]






didn''t

[astarion]

[Help that would be more poignant if Astarion wasn't just flat-out lying.]

Didn't

im TRying YOU KNOW

[Oops caps lock]

[survivaltricks]

[THERE IS A REASON HE ISN'T GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT THAT!!]

i can tell. you're doing great sweetie.

[he is not doing great]

[astarion]

thank you,, i am

[He's not. But he's doing better than the first week.]

anyway, we can argue this all day. the point stands: you cannot prove anything

[survivaltricks]

[improvement is slow and steady!]

maybe not.

but we can always ask mr bennet about the security cameras

[. . . are there security cameras?]

[astarion]

the what?

[If there aren’t, he wouldn’t know!]

[survivaltricks]

the security cameras?

. . . i suppose if you have no idea what an espresso machine is, you wouldn't know what a security camera is, either.

[astarion]

you;ll find that I'LL find much of this hotel baffling, yes
security cameras included

[survivaltricks]

security cameras. . . uh, take moving pictures of people. like paintings? but they move. and show us what you were doing in the moment those pictures were captured.

things like stealing espresso machines included.

[astarion]

really?

[Huh.]

and can you prove if ot were just someone disguised as me?

[survivaltricks]

you're going down the rabbit hole.

[who would disguise themselves as astarion!!]

[astarion]

its surel not as ridiculous as you think,d arling
such magic does exist

[survivaltricks]

i know, but that doesn't mean you aren't going down the rabbit hole.

haven't you ever heard of the saying "keep it simple, stupid?"

[astarion]

in terms of heists and general theiverry?
no but i udnerstand the idea

listen darling, it's ot my fault if other people make things more difficult than need be, is it?