so about the espresso

[cardsharked]

Username/Display Name: un: vierge / dn: odette
Server Channel: #general
Time: Late October, right after the espresso heist

Figure some of you might be wondering what the fuck happened to the espresso machine.

Well, I like at least one of you, so I’m willing to share the scoop.

Astarion the Victorian orphan trapped in a grown man’s body and some blond guy I haven’t seen around before broke the damn thing trying to lift it. Literally and figuratively. Dropped it a few feet from the door in the middle of grand theft bean.

I gathered anyone missing their fix would appreciate the heads up. You see Astarion or that tentacle-wielding lug around, be sure to thank em for making mornings more interesting. I’d like to personally extend my thanks to blondie, too, so if you know who around here can do that kind of kraken shit, don't be shy.

And if you think they’re just gonna replace the machine, you’re dead wrong. Bennet put up a cute little “pardon our mess” card, so we’re SOL. What's a girl to do?

Comments

[cardsharked]

S███████? [Legally distinct and protected.]

Come on, their swill is everywhere. I had a high schooler in Japan make me better coffee, and she was shaking in her boots at the time.

[messianic]

[help]

S********




[????]

S********

S********S********S********

what. why is this happening

[cardsharked]

Damn, can't go anywhere these days without censorship

Let's see...

Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville

huh.

[messianic]

[help]

That one's not legally sensitive enough?

[cardsharked]

think they're a sponsor or something?

i've had the margaritas. they ain't all that.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . ????]

a) are you stalking about s▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇?

b) there's a s▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ here???








c) why is it censored

[cardsharked]

Seems like somebody doesn't want to get into legal hot water.

Cowards, haha.

Anyway, pretty sure there's at least two.

[survivaltricks]

which floors?

[not his cafe of choice, but when needs must. . .]

[cardsharked]

[Insert two random floors here that are just far enough away to justify having the same chain but just close enough for it to sound ridiculous.] At least, that's where they were last I saw them. Wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities.

You're taking this pretty hard, huh?

[survivaltricks]

[EXCELLENT. he is writing them down. not that it will help him later, decreed by the power of ME, but at least he feels better about knowing where they are!]

coffee is serious business.

[cardsharked]

That it is. Can't let them get you down though. That's how they win. And you don't want those criminal bastards to have the last laugh, do you?

[she is also a criminal bastard]

[survivaltricks]

[HE IS ALSO A CRIMINAL BASTARD]

well, i don't have anything against "criminal bastards."

just espresso thieves.

[cardsharked]

even the devil's got standards huh

Regardless, they're one n the same this time. You're on the side of the law in this case whether you like it or not. Punishment's gotta suit the crime. [WHAT LAW???]